i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this just has baby written all over it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
