I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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