her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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