he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize