you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
