Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
