Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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