Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
