I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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