So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize