Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
