I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize