Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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