Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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