so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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