um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
