If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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