i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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