Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
