we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize