He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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