His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
