Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
