On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize