wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize