small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
