btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
