You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
