you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
