Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
