you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
