So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
