I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
