3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
