my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
where am i from again
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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