i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
