Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
