So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
