I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
