Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
His hands were made for my vagina.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
