he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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