420 ftw
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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