I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she looked like the before picture.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
