I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize