I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize