I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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