But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
