Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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