pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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