The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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