I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
