Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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