Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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