Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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