the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
