At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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